A recent survey showed that more than 95% of couples attending therapy in the United States were satisfied with the help they received.
Couples therapy can improve relationships, no matter how long they’ve lasted or how healthy you think they are.
Therapy and true efforts mend your relationship, but there are a few signs that signify that you need additional help.
Keep reading to learn about the most common signs of needing marriage help so you don’t end up at the courthouse!
1. Constant Arguments
One of the most obvious signs you need marriage help is if every conversation turns into an argument.
When people feel unheard and controlled, it can be frustrating. Going into a conversation with your guard already up will only set you up for disaster. Couples must get on the same page and talk when their emotions are under control.
If you or your partner have a habit of starting fights, you need to look into the underlying reasons. Arguments can lead to bigger issues like cheating and dishonesty. If you can’t find a way to support each other, you may find other places to find compassion.
Learning how to effectively communicate takes time and practice. Instead of getting defensive and assuming you know what will happen, give your partner a chance to surprise you in the best ways. When you don’t jump into attack mode immediately, it can improve your relationship.
2. Minimal Intimacy
Intimacy plays an important role in marriages and can lead to frustrations when it’s been a while.
You should never feel pressured to be intimate with your partner. Sexual and non-sexual intimacy should be natural and consensual. Some partners go through lulls because of children and health conditions, this is normal.
If your relationship is lacking intimacy for no apparent reason, you may want to talk to someone. Some couples pull away from their partners physically, even before they understand why. Getting help will help you both explore what’s going on to find a solution.
3. Lack of Trust
Cheating, lying, and previous traumas can lead to a lack of trust.
If you and your partner can’t seem to trust each other, you may not need to walk away just yet. Talking to a therapist can help you both identify the underlying problem, and in many cases, it’s about family and past traumas!
Once a partner understands they aren’t the cause, it can change perspectives and push the relationship forward.
4. Keeping Secrets & Lying
If you are noticing secretive behaviors from your partner and are worried about honesty, you may need help for your marriage.
Secrets and lying can damage a relationship overnight, especially if it’s something important. When couples can’t trust what their partner is saying, it can be difficult to imagine a safe and stable future. Try to discuss what behaviors are making you uncomfortable and avoid accusing your partner of anything.
It’s common for couples to get angry and lash out, accusing their partner of the worst things. This can hurt that person if they aren’t hiding anything and make them question the health of your marriage. Stay open, honest, and transparent for a healthy relationship.
If you feel alone in a marriage and can’t get your partner to tell the truth, separation may be necessary.
5. Inability to Effectively Communicate
Just because you aren’t fighting, doesn’t mean that you’re communicating effectively.
When partners communicate, they should practice active listening. Many people ignore others and wait for the first opportunity to say what they want without regard to their partner. Listen closely and ask follow-up questions if you can’t get your point across.
This is a common reason people seek marriage therapy. Having a third-party involved can help address communication issues that couples no longer notice.
Couples that can’t communicate tend to distance themselves and look for support in other areas. Although it’s good to have a support system outside of your spouse, you should always be able to speak to them.
6. Habits Are Impacting the Relationship
If you love your partner, but they have some harmful habits that are damaging your marriage, you may need help.
Drugs, alcohol, and other addictions or habits can put a wedge in the strongest of relationships. Substances and annoying habits can influence the way you are treated in a relationship. If you want to trust that your partner will put your needs above their guilty pleasures, you need to get intervention.
7. Child-Related Stress
Whether you’re dealing with a newborn, toddler, or angsty teen, it can take a toll on your relationship.
The dynamics of the relationship significantly change once children are in the picture. If you and your partner can’t get on the same page because of over-exhausted and over-stimulation, therapy and date nights can help.
Raising children, especially in 2022 is a challenge. Not only are you worried about taking care of your child and keeping your partner happy, but you also have concerns about buying formula! A therapist can teach you coping mechanisms and acknowledge the constant efforts you’re putting in.
Many couples find themselves unhappy because each conversation feels like a game of “Who did more?” Stay away from comparisons and try to go on a date to feel like a couple again.
Do You Need Marriage Help?
No one is expected to be perfect in a relationship, everyone is still trying to find themselves while caring for loved ones.
Time and stress can expand the length of a once, close relationship. If you’re dealing with problems at home and can’t seem to express yourself, there is help. Therapy, listening, and honesty can bring you and your partner closer than ever.
Don’t get discouraged if there are bad days. Keep an open mind and try to look at your relationship growth. Marriage help comes in many forms, try to change your perspective for a new outlook.
Make sure you check out our page for more content about marriage counseling and learning how to be happy!